Concerts

My very first concert was Hilary Duff. I remember dressing up with my cousins and soon to be step sisters in glittery pink shirts and having our hair curled. Hilary Duff used to be our role models. We used to watch her show Lizzie McGuire every day and listen to her songs in the car every day. I'm pretty sure she was the first concert for many of the high school girls. I have been to 6 concerts total: Hilary Duff, Panic! At the Disco, Justin Bieber, Rascal Flatts, Suicidal Tendencies, and Panic! At the Disco (again). I think that my least favorite concert was the Suicidal Tendencies one. That was the first time that I have ever been to the Knitting Factory downtown. My old friend's cousin was the drummer and she wanted me and my other friend to go with her. So my friend and I bought tickets and met her down there. At first I didn't think that it was that bad, but then the second opening act screamed, "FORM THE PIT!" The quiet guy who was nodding his head next to my group started dancing and moving around really fast, grabbing anyone in sight and tossing them around. Guess who was one of the people grabbed? That's right, me. I've never been in a mosh pit before and I was scared. I was being pushed around. People were tugging at my shirt pulling me here and there. I saw one of my other friends there and he thankfully pulled me out. The friend who invited me told me I was a 'Wuss' and went and told all of our friends that I was boring at concerts because all I did was stand there. I thought that was hilarious because she was the one standing there when I was in the pit. There's a concert this weekend that my boyfriend wants to go to, Rob Zombie and Korn. I like Korn and I'm pretty sure that I'd like Rob Zombie, but I'm sort of scared to go. I don't want another bad experience in the pit if this concert has one.

Hamlet Memorization

In AP Literature, we have to memorize a speech for Hamlet that is at least 25 lines. I thought I was going to do "O, my offence is rank," spoken by King Claudius, but as I was reading Act IV last night I was drawn to another speech. I decided to change the speech that I was going to memorize to "How all occassions do inform against me," spoken by Hamlet himself. In class today, Mr. Burge had us do one of his tricks to help us memorize it faster- writing the first letter of each word on a notecard. This helps me memorize the speech rather fast. This is the third time in my high school career that I have had him as my teacher which means this is the third time that I have had to memorize a Shakepseare speech. First Romeo and Juliet, then The Tragedy of Julius Caesar and now Hamlet. I think that since I have memorized speeches for his class, that this should be a breeze. In class he wanted us to be able to recite five lines with the help of our cheat notecard, but I was able to memorize ten lines instead. Talk about impressive right? Just kidding. There's kids in the class that have memorized more than I have. Some have already memorized their whole speech!!! I feel that I have been slacking on that assignment due tot he over achievers in the class. Oh well, I'm going to try and have the whole speech memorized by Friday. Wish me luck!

Family

When we're in the car heading to school, my sisters and my mom give me the auxillary cord. They make me the in car DJ. But, they want me to play the music that they like. If my sisters and I like a song but my mom doesn't, she will complain and lower the volume until I change it. Yet, when she likes a song and no one else in the car does, she won't let us change it. I don't think that's fair. I feel like all we listen in the car is the same five songs, over and over and over again. I don't think I can deal with slow songs or weird 80s music for another morning. Well, maybe I could if I was fine with losing it. Another thing that irks me is that yeah, when my mom and I are alone, we listen to a lot of different music. But when my sisters are in the car, it's PG music ALL the time. I was listening to songs with vulgar lyrics when I was five years old. I feel that since these are my step sisters my mom thinks she has to baby them in a way. Yet, when she isn't around, we all listen to songs that have cuss words in it. Face it, my sister goes to public school, she's almost a freshman in high school. She's exposed to things everyday. Yet, she's treated like she's a toddler when she's at home. Sometimes I feel sorry for her and when my parents aren't home I let her say whatever she wants or watch whatever she wants- that I have seen before. I guess this is why I'm her favorite sister.

Government Class Jitters

Today in American Government, Mr. Rossi gave us an assignment to take a quiz to see which political party we share views with. After taking the two quizzes, I realized that I am more conservative than I thought. I knew I was conservative, but I didn't know that I was as conservative as I was. We have to share our results to the class next week. I can't help but feel nervous. The last time I was required to share my political views with others was when I participating in JSA at Stanford University. I was totally happy and willing to share my political views during debates and discussions in class, but the more I did the more people tried to change my outlook on these issues. I wanted to make friends so I was willing to listen to their views and why I should change mine. I started to feel uncomfortable being there because I was one of the ten conservatives there. When we were assigned to what debate and whether we would be supporting it or opposing it, I was excited. Though, that all went downhill once I discovered that I would be on the opposing side on the issue of Obamacare. How was I supposed to get votes for my position if everyone favored this issue? I felt discouraged, and didn't know if I should even put any effort into my debate. I tried anyway and after I lost, which was expected, people told me that I was stupid because I didn't have the 'correct' viewpoint. I know that everyone has the right to their own opinion, but for this reason, I feel extremely nervous in sharing my views in class next week. I hope no one is as criticizing or judgmental as the people were at JSA. Fingers crossed.

Halloween!

Halloween is one of my favorite holidays. I love going to haunted houses, dressing up, carving pumpkins and seeing decorations and others' costumes on Halloween night. When I used to trick-or-treat, I loved racing my cousins to houses, getting candy, and after counting and organizing them all, trading them for something better. Yes, I counted and organized my candy. I organized them by color and by brand. I was always lucky when I wanted to trade. I'm not a huge fan of chocolate, I like actual sugary candy and my cousins always traded for chocolate.
I'm not very good at carving pumpkins without the little cutouts to help me. I'm not that creative when it comes to designing a scary image on a pumpkin. I like tracing the image off a picture and carving it into the pumpkin. I LOVE the pumpkin smell. But I hate the feeling of the innards of the pumpkin.
One of my favorite things about Halloween is the haunted houses and decorations. In middle school, my grade would always be in charge of the school's haunted house. I remember my science and homeroom teacher would stop lessons once Halloween came closer and we would work on designing the haunted house. Flashing lights, fog, scarers. I love creating them and going through them. I always feel my stomach drop when someone jumps out at me or grabs me. But that is the reason I love them. Last year, my boyfriend took me to Frightmare for my birthday and as I screamed at the top of my lungs, he wasn't scared. I was amazed. He walked through saying, "Hello," to all the scarers, while I had mini freak outs when they popped out or chased us.
Walking around with my sisters while they trick-or-treat, I love seeing the decorations on houses and the costumes. I think it's a way to show of some creativity. The decorations at Spirit this year are demented. I went the other day with my boyfriend and we saw a teddy bear stabbing itself, dolls sewing there mouths shut, babies without eyes who creepily sing, "I'm watching you," and an insane asylum with a girl in the back screaming because there are hooks from chains where her arms should be. Scary, right?

Media RANT

Sometimes I wonder if television and movies run out of ideas. Watching Disney Channel and Nickelodeon with my sisters, I noticed that a lot of these shows deal with teen actors within the show, dancers, musicians, and spoiled rich kids. Though each show has it's own comical factor, the central idea for each has become, in my opinion, a bit cliche. Not only cliche, but a lot of the shows have become increasingly predictable on these channels. You know that everything will work out in the characters' favor. Even though each show has different characters and different conflicts, I can't help but feel bored when watching these channels with my sisters, unless it's Spongebob. I can't handle cheesy actors for show after show. Not only are these kiddish shows becoming cliche, but same are other popular shows. For example, the CSI shows like Bones, CSI (all of those ones..), Hawaii Five-0, Criminal Minds, etc. all revolve around crimes. I know that this is very popular among the population, but I think they're boring. Don't the crimes get old after awhile. One show that I thought was original, however, is Once Upon A Time. Though the characters are based off of well-known fairy tales, I think that the show is great. The characters were all cursed and brought to live in the modern world without remembering anything from their past life. But the curse would be broken upon the chosen one. I like how the show goes back and forth between the present and the past because it shows why they act like they do and it shows how relationships were made in their old life. They not only bring in well-known fairy tales, but also new characters, which gives this show some originality. Although this show is original, it sort of copies the movie Enchanted in it's idea of having a fairy tale character experience life in the modern world.

Whoops...

This blog was the one we wrote in class on Friday before break. Talk about late, right?
So break is just around the corner, and I am so glad that it is finally here. This break is much needed. School and test preps and college researching has made my head spin and a few days will help me feel at ease again. I have a plan for this week, but who knows if I am actually going to follow it.
Saturday: This day will be used for catching up on sleep. I haven't slept for longer than 3 hours in weeks. I think a day off from anything academic is in need here.
Sunday: The thirteenth is my birthday, so one can probably guess what is in store. Feasting, opening presents, watching football, and cake and ice cream. I am going to have my boyfriend and family over. The house gets so loud when everyone is around. Everyone's favorite thing to do on my birthday is to watch my first birthday and every time we watch it, you can count on hearing my cousin shout, "Look how cute I was!"
Monday: Organize. I need to organize my school work. I have two binders, but nothing is very organized. I just stuff it with papers and nothing is in folders of in the ring.
Tuesday: Bank. It's time for me to get my own checking and savings account that is not linked to my parents. I also need to get a hair cut. Time for layers again. YAY.
Wednesday: Colleges. This day should be used for looking for more colleges or researching colleges in depth. I found some colleges that I like, but I think I need to research them a bit more before I start getting applications together. Maybe this day will be used for looking for scholarships too.
Thursday: This day is gonna be used for family. I am going to my family's home in a different city. I think that family time is really needed this year since I probably going off to college in a different state.
Friday: Homework. This day will be used for doing any homework that I have over break.

Stress

On October 5 I took the SAT. I had a huge weight on my shoulders because I am not a good test taker. I studied from the SAT test prep booklet, but I felt my confidence in doing well in the test decline as I was answering the practice questions. I was studying since August for the test, but as the test date was getting closer, I began to feel my stress level increasing. I ended up getting sick two weeks before the test and that prevented me from studying that whole week! Once I was better, I only had one more week to prep for the test and I started getting horrible stress headaches. I started to change my diet to junky types of food and sugary drinks to help me stay up longer to study, however, I ended up having crashes everyday when I would get home after school. I stopped sleeping at night and all of this added to my stress. How could I concentrate when I'm about to collapse into a slumber? I was not thinking about my health but rather about this stupid test. I am not a good test taker and standardized tests shows this opinion. I find myself concentrating on the time more than what is right in front of me. I get anxious due to the silence and I feel that the walls are closing in on me as the test drags on. My mother added to my stress last week when she talked to my best friend. She told her that she didn't want me to study the day before the test so that I could clear my head. My friend ended up telling me she wanted to go shopping and when I got home on Thursday my mom told me I was going out after school and that I would not do any studying what so ever. I could not even due homework!!! What mom does not want their child to do their academic work?! I was flabbergasted. I didn't know what to think, other than without this day to study, I was going to do worse on the SAT. On Saturday, I woke up and I felt good. I actually believed in myself, but as we got closer to Reed, I started having a panic attack. I became short tempered and I felt like crying. I did not want to take this dreadful exam. As the test went on however, I felt that I knew more than when I entered the classroom and I found a new feeling that I have never felt in a testing environment. I felt at ease the whole test. Now all I have to do is wait to see my scores.

Hurry up 18!

Speaking to other students in my grade, I have begun to realize that many of them have started their Capstone Projects. Internships and job shadows at hospitals, farms, elementary schools, or just having a job in general. I'm left feeling like I'm behind and that I won't be able to finish it. In the beginning of the school year, I was just planning on doing another service learning project that sort of related to the one I did my junior year. My group and I received donations from our community businesses, clubs, and friends and family. We sent them all over to Karote, a village in Afghanistan. We did this because we felt that the families there needed support due to them living in a third world country and a war zone. Our community partner even got us an interview with a native Afghan and he told us all about the culture, weather, etc. With my Capstone, however, I wanted to focus on military families instead. I was planning on starting a non-profit organization and getting donations and hosting fundraisers to get supplies that are generally needed and send care packages to the soldiers overseas and provide meals for their families during the holidays. I got this idea last year due to a few service men coming to my house on Thanksgiving with a full home cooked traditional Thanksgiving feast. I thought it would be a good idea to do this for all military families. But, as I was thinking more about it, I decided to focus on my future life more. My 4H adviser is married to a detective who is also a colonel in the military. Recently, he was looking for 18 year old kids so that he can use them in an undercover cop assignment. He asked me if I was 18 and I said not until mid-October. He told me to contact him when I turn 18 and he'll put me on the assignment list and I can go out with the policemen to complete the assignment. This changed my idea for my Capstone. In the future, I want a career in law enforcement and I decided that this is the perfect project for me. I contacted him today and he told me I can do more than just a few undercover assignments. I can also participate in ride-alongs, see how the jails operate, and he is even finding a way for me to get an internship with the police department. This is so exciting to me. I just wish that my 18th birthday came a little faster; only 11 more days!